I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
