Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
