I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
