Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
