Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
