she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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