Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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