So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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