some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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