I can tuck mytits in my pants
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
