I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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