yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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