im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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