I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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