If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
