I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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