This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
