Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
