i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
