I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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