That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
