I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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