She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
