What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what day is it and did you see me today?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize