Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
