There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
