its not stalking. its research.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize