i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
