yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my shit smells like andre
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
