You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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