That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize