Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
