he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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