I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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