I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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