I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
