i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
