I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
