he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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