Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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