Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
