and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
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