there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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