Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
