dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
