You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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