so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
