if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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