I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize