Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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