I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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