She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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