alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
