I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
