I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think i have herpe
just one?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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