A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
