Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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