Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
