We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
