I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
