well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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